i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
