i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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