you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
