his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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