My room smells like vodka and shame
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
