Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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