Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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