Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize