I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Non-Jews are for practice
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
