The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize