I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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