So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
