We won't sleep together?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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