Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Randomize
