Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
