So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize