Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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