what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
