i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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