I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
