lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
