respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I have fence marks all over my body
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
