and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
