yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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