Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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