Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
