Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
