just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
