it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
