This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
