If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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