ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
