He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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