so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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