giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
