She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
