the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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