porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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