your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
