Dual....:-)
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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