It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
