I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
