I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
