As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize