"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
