I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Randomize
