is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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