i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
tell me about the fingering
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
