there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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