I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
