Pappa wants mamma naked
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
pop tarts are not kleenex
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I could fuck to npr.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
