there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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