The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
