Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize