I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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