why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
