we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Houston, we have a squirter
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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