Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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