No more Irish car bombs ever.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
